I’m really sorry for dropping off the face of the world…again… I’m trying not to be too hard on myself as right now as I’m suffering a major flare-up with my ME/CFS. There’s also a mystery condition going on with my heart since August and it’s taking forever to get to a specialist. Whatever it is, it’s making the ME/CFS even worse and more unbearable than ever before. Then there’s all the other stressy stuff, but that’s not important right here or now.
It’s time for another writer challenge prompt from The Writer’s Block by Jason Rekulak, this time: ‘Write a story in the format of a letter.‘ I actually wrote this back in February and was meant to have uploaded it just before Valentine’s Day since it ended up love-themed…but it went kind of dark pretty much straight off the bat. Sort of a normal trait with all my work it seems…
I wanted to leave what’s really happening in the writer’s world and where they were open to interpretation. Is it a real place or a state of mind? How much is real or how much is imagined? Who knows?
If you fancy having a go at this writing prompt, let me know, I’d love to see it!
“The Unsent Letter “
Dear beloved.
How long is it since we last encountered one another? The years have swept passed us both and taken us to different lands. Where are you these days? It’s like you have passed into a different world and left me behind, perhaps you’ve even forgotten me. Maybe that is for the best. I hope you’re in a better place and don’t have to spend your days fighting the ceaseless assault of demons as I do.
I think I’m becoming a monster, like those that live all around me in this endless dark. Or nothing. I can’t remember the last time I truly saw the light or felt warmth in my heart. The colour has faded away and it’s always so cold and hollow where I am. I’ve become too detached from reality. Fallen so far from the light of the day and whatever normality is. Why do so many people seek to suck the life out of another? Worse; that life never even satisfies them. I’m so tired of fighting other people’s battles and I’m tired of their demons clinging to me.
It feels like the battle for humanity is endless. No matter how deep we dig, no matter how much the fight goes on… the forces of darkness and destruction simply consume us one by one. Every day, someone re-kindles the beacons and illuminates the path. Each night, the beasts snuff them out again. Over and over it repeats. The chantry has long fallen, and the way out has collapsed. Is there even a way out of the labyrinth realm of night? Something in the dark is calling my name and tearing me apart.
I’ll never forget the moment I first looked into your eyes. The world fell away and there was only you and I in existence. Your eyes were the first to see straight through the mask, to see who I really was. Whenever you were close to me in the world before you’d often visit me in dreams. Did you know that? You’d hold me in your arms and chase the darkness from my soul…you’d bring me to life again. I’m eternally grateful for you guiding me through sweet pandemonium all those years ago. You made the world more bearable for me back then…even without your knowing it.
I was so weird back then. Some kind of puppeteer of madness had possessed me…made me act so irrationally. Twisted destiny would guide me to you only to cause me to stumble and falter and become a wild menace and an embarrassment. I never wanted any of that. Could you ever forgive me? You’ll never know how much I wish I could go back and prevent every one of those insane encounters. To take control of myself and banish whatever had taken hold of me. To wash it all away.
The dreams. They were a madness of their own and I never got to find out if you had them too. It was so peculiar. Even without seeing you, your appearance within the dream would change to match that of yours in the waking world. How could I know that if I hadn’t seen you? I’d try to reach out to you to find the answers if I could. But I just made a fool of myself again, didn’t I? So I’ll never try that again.
Damn, that was so long ago, wasn’t it? The world’s changed, and changed again. Now the darkness gnaws at my heart and soul every day. Worse than before. I doubt even the Devil himself could frighten me now after all I’ve endured. Somehow across the vast expanse of distance and time, I still dream of you from time to time.
I keep thinking that if ever I do get to see you again, I’d tell you how sorry I was for all of it. But then I remember what fate is like with me, and I can’t help but imagine what over ten years of not seeing you would do. Suddenly my screaming at you for no clear reason seems tame compared to the horrors of a humiliating situation plus interest would create. I’d probably cause an entire town to come to a standstill from whatever occurred. I’d probably scream at you again too. No, I know that’s exactly what would happen. So in case this does somehow reach you and we do ever pass in the street again; I’m sorry in advance for whatever is about to happen, and I’m truly sorry for the past too.
No matter how hard I try to forget you or move on, you’re still there in the depths of my heart. Maybe it’s your voice I hear howling through the night and calling my name. Who knows? Wherever you are, I hope your life is in the light, far away from this nightmare world.
I love you.
